Hero
by EmbersOfAmber
Summary: An unlikely incident in camp sheds more light on our hero. Set after Siren, post-Redcliffe. Alistair/Cousland, some Zevran.


_**A/N This takes place after Siren, in a random night on the road.**_

 _ **~o~**_

A terrified shriek rent the stillness of the night. Alissa shot out of her tent, her long hair unbound and cascading behind her. She was clad in her thin sleeping tunic which fell to the middle of her thighs. So great was her distress that she did not even feel the bite of the night air across her bare skin.

Alistair jumped to his feet, muscles tensed and adrenaline pumping through his body making him battle ready. He clutched the longsword in one hand while his other hand still held the cleaning cloth he had been using.

The fire crackled and hissed, throwing orange sparks into the night sky like an offering. Zevran remained seated by the warming blaze, his relaxed posture belied by the sharp look in his eyes as they focused on Alissa. His daggers lay next to him, but he made no move towards them.

Her eyes were wide with terror, and her breathing was labored. She shuddered as she turned her head to stare at the two men. Spying Alistair, she ran barefooted across the rocky ground until she reached him.

Satisfied that no evil fiends were baring down on them, he dropped the sword and cloth onto his pack before turning his full attention back to Alissa. She stood silently in front of him and her breathing gradually began to return to normal.

"Bad dreams?" Alistair questioned hesitantly.

Alissa gave him a sickly smile, her eyes flicking back and forth between him and Zevran. Belatedly, Alistair took note of her lack of attire, and turned to glare at the elf who was devouring Alissa with his eyes.

Alissa grabbed Alistair by the shoulder and pulled him close to whisper into his ear, before moving back enough to look at him. His surprised expression turned to puzzlement. With a half smile on his lips, his brows drew together.

"Are you serious?" he murmured incredulously.

Alissa's jaw tightened and her cheeks turned pink.

Alistair cleared his throat. "Of course. I'll just…"

He turned to retrieve his sword when his eyes again fell on the leering Zevran. Alistair glanced back at their half-clad leader. He scowled at the elf.

"Stop looking at her like that."

"And how exactly am I looking at her?" Zevran asked, with a faint smile on his lips.

"Like she's the last piece of cheese in all Thedas." Alistair grumbled as he stalked to his tent. He retrieved his blanket and quickly returned to wrap it around Alissa's shivering form.

Zevran threw his head back and laughed. "Let me assure you, my dear Alistair, cheese had no place in my thoughts. Although, I will admit our beautiful Warden has stirred in me a hunger of another kind."

Alissa shook her head before moving closer to the warming fire. She sat down with the grey scratchy blanket wrapped securely around her. Her eyes followed Alistair as he walked to her tent, then disappeared into it.

She focused her gaze on the fire, pointedly ignoring Zevran's curious stare. Old memories buzzed in her head like a swarm of stinging flies, painful and difficult to be rid of. There were times she could harness the sharp agony of her past, but her moods could swing unpredictably and overwhelm her with their force.

Alissa's desire for revenge on Howe came from such a deep grief, she could not survive it without twisting it into hate. She could manage the hatred much more easily. Grief was a stabbing pain that overwhelmed and made you weak, whereas hatred was hot and powerful. She could wield it like a sword, benefiting not only herself but others. She could nearly justify the rage as a good thing…almost. If she chose to ignore the stain such anger left on her soul, who would blame her?

Her smile was cruel as she contemplated the flame that so closely mirrored the burning emotion in her stomach. The façade she usually wore for the comfort of others was absent tonight, and she just really couldn't give a damn.

Zevran watched Alissa for several minutes, seeing in her eyes and face a darkness he had not witnessed since he had joined the party. He had seen similar expressions on other, hardened individuals. After all, he was an assassin, and had not lived a life of peace and joy. Yet, somehow, he found the coldness he saw in her eyes to be oddly out of place.

She often showed such compassion and kindness, that he had decided those things mostly defined her character. How many others would have spared the life of the very person sent to kill them? He expected her to use him, naturally, but instead, she treated him as a comrade. She surprised him.

Now, he saw the shadow of things in her eyes of which he had previously been unaware. Although he was curious, he was also patient, and she was clearly not in a communicative frame of mind. Perhaps there would be another time, perhaps not. Every life held secrets, did it not? Zevran smiled bitterly before silently stealing away to his own tent.

Finished with his task, Alistair returned to seat himself near Alissa. She was watching the flames with such intensity that he almost felt like an intruder. Her expression alarmed him slightly, so he cleared his throat softly.

"It's gone. I slew the invader and threw its' corpse to the woods. Although, I suppose you can't really fault it's taste. If I had my pick of warm bedrolls, I would definitely choose yours too."

His effort was rewarded by the slight smile that touched her lips, but when it faded her eyes were sad.

Her voice was very quiet when she finally spoke.

"I was eight years old, and I had been particularly bratty to my brother, Fergus. He decided to punish me by putting a snake in my bed that night. I awoke to the thing slithering across my face, and half-tangled in my hair. I couldn't stop screaming." Alissa shuddered, and drew the blanket even tighter around her.

" I wouldn't be bothered by a snake in daylight, but…." Her voice trailed off and she shrugged before turning to look at him uncertainly. His eyes were full of warmth and understanding, and she exhaled gratefully.

"One of the other initiates once put a bug in my tea. I didn't discover it until I had drained the entire cup. Not sure what type of bug it was, but it had green wings. It didn't really have a bad flavor, I suppose, but I've never been eager to repeat the experience."

Alissa bit her lip and chuckled slightly. As the laughter faded, Alistair held her gaze, his eyes encouraging her to talk. She finally allowed her gaze to drop to his collarbone, focusing on the lacing of his tunic. She was ashamed to show him her naked pain, it was still so personal and she had spoken of it very little, but she needed to say it.

"I miss my brother." she whispered. "He wasn't at the castle that night, and I…I have to believe he's still alive. Am I foolish to hope so?"

Alistair reached out to lift her chin until she met his eyes. "No, my lady, never foolish."

Her eyes filled until a single tear cascaded down her cheek. Letting instinct guide him, Alistair pulled her into his arms, pressing her head to his chest. He stroked her long hair tenderly as her silent tears wet his tunic.

Tentatively, she moved a hand across his chest until she reached his neck, returning his embrace. They sat that way for some time, soaking in the night and each other. Finally, Alissa drew back so she could look at him. He smiled warmly, but his eyes regarded her face intently, taking in her expression and the moisture still on her cheeks.

Alissa found that his understanding of her grief, and acceptance of her fears made her feel so much closer to him. He could sometimes stumble over his words when they were with others, but when they were alone, Alistair always seemed to know exactly what to say or do to make her feel better. How could he make her happy despite everything?

She wiped her eyes on his blanket, before standing to her feet. He stood with her, following her lead. She smiled, and a teasing light entered her eyes.

"You are a fierce slayer of snakes and darkspawn, ser. Your fame will travel far and wide, without a doubt."

Alistair easily fell into their usual banter. "Yep, that's me. All reptiles, rodents, and bugs shall fear me. Especially bugs. Since I drank of their essence, I now hold power over them." He lunged slightly at an invisible enemy, and Alissa smiled at his antics.

She tugged the blanket off before pressing it into his arms.

"Thank you." she said simply, but her eyes told him so much more before she pressed her lips to his in a gentle kiss.

"You're my hero" she whispered, before running to her tent.

Alistair smiled, with a slightly stunned look on his face before he whispered to the night,

"And you're mine."

~o~


End file.
